A Sky full of Stars

Gray Hawthorne

Tiktok- @gray.hawthorne

October 14th, 2013

April Robbins never wanted to get ghosted on her first real date, but that’s what the universe decided was how tonight would go. The Harvest dance was the prom of eighth graders at Crescent Middle School. It was the only event where eighth graders, the oldest grade at their school, was the only grade allowed. Six and seventh graders had to wait for the Halloween dance, which was lackluster in comparison to the extravagant lengths the school put on for the Harvest dance. But April’s date had ghosted her. And now she was sitting on the curb of the bus loop sidewalk, dressed up like a messy vampire while the distant sounds and beats of “Running on Sunshine” leaked out the gym doors. April stared at her phone as someone sat next to her, causing her to look up. “Hi.” He said, smiling, “I’m Griffin.” April’s eyes looked him up and down. He was wearing a somewhat normal outfit, a red button up and black jeans, but had simple clown makeup. He looked like a younger version of Justin Bieber. “April.” She replied, smiling, “April Robbins.” “So not April Kepner?” Griffin smiled at her as she laughed. “Not every ginger girl named April is from Grey’s Anatomy, Griffin.” She shook her head, looking at her chipped nails. Griffin looked at her nails and smiled, “Did you do those yourself?” “Yeah, water marbling. I saw it on a YouTube video.” April shrugged as Griffin smiled. “Miss Robbins, I think I should be your friend.” He said as he held out a hand, “The ghosted duo.” “Ghosted duo it is.” She smiles, taking his hand into hers as he pressed a kiss to the back of it. For the first time, April Robbins blushed. And Griffin Jacobs flirted. December 25th, 2013 “Oh shut up!” April laughed, adjusting her beanie as Griffin fell back on her bed. “I’m not wrong! You do look like a ginger Alice Cullen!” “Oh you shut up, Jasper!” Griffin let out a fake gasp as he fell over. April laughed, sitting next to him on the edge of her bed. In the span of two months, Griffin Jacobs had become her best friend. April knew his mom had died and his dad was a deadbeat, so he lived with his aunt. Griffin knew she ate dinner with her parents once a month, but always spent time with her grandmother and aunt. They knew some of the others deepest secrets, the one hidden from light.

April’s parents were working, as they always did. A new trauma case for her moms surgical skills to play with and a long shift at the law firm for her dad. Griffin could have gone home, could have stayed with his aunt and cousins. But instead, he woke up early in the morning to make her breakfast. They had agreed to no gifts, but she was still going to go over and drop off her gift for him later on. But he had come to her. “Okay, okay. Please don’t be mad.” Griffin held out a small bag to April as she rolled her eyes. “Griffin Jacobs!” “I know, I know! You said no gifts, but I couldn’t resist!” Both of them laugh as April sighs, taking the bag. “Fine, fine. If this isn’t good, I’m gonna kill you.” His smile was wider than hers as she pulled back the tissue paper. Inside were four small gifts. A body spray from Victoria’s Secret, something dark blue that smelled faintly sweet, but like a forest. Another was a book, one that made her squeal. A copy of the Hunger Games, one with sticky notes sticking out. She opened to a page and smiled. He had annotated the book for her. His handwriting was scrawled in the sections of empty space. “God, Griffin. I can't kill you now.” April smiled as he laughed. “Open the other two, you’ll love them.” April grinned as she pulled out the final two gifts. One was a brand new sketchbook with a purple cover, a few pencils and a nice pen attached to it. The sight made her smile wider and squeal once more out of pure excitement as she opened the fourth, final small box. It was a small, silver heart necklace. A locket. Inside was a small, printed picture of the two of them. One of Griffin’s friends must have taken it, it was from a distance. It was of him and April in ELA, her head resting on his shoulder as he read out loud to her. “Did you like it?” Griffin smiled as she looked up at him. “Merry Christmas, Griffin.” She grabbed an object out from under her bed and smiled as she handed him a small plushie. It wasn’t much, just a small plushie of a german shepherd puppy. But the look in his eyes as his jaw dropped made April smile. He looked like nothing else mattered as he held the small plushie to his chest. Griffin fell over onto the floor as she laughed, laying next to him and smiling at him. And April Robbins fell in love. May 25th, 2014

April rolled over in bed as she blinked her eyes open and almost screamed at the sight of Griffin dressed in a pink sweater, party hat, and surrounded by balloons. He blew a party horn and smiled, holding a container of pancakes from Cafe Luna and a purple bag. “HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY!” He screamed as she laughed, throwing a pillow at him. Griffin just grinned and sat her up, forcing her to sit next to him as he set out the container of pancakes and two forks. She couldn’t help but smile when he handed her a mug of a vanilla latte with three pumps of vanilla, just how she liked it. She was just about to eat when he forced a bag into her hands, catching her off guard. “Open it!” He smiled as April rolled her eyes, pulling back the tissue paper. Inside was a card, a book, and a plant. She pulled out the plant first, setting the small succulent next to her growing collection of plants and a few shiny crystals on her headboard. Griffin had helped her aunt build it, it was specifically wide on top so the part above the bed could be converted into a bookshelf. She pulled out the book and looked up at him, the both of them bursting into laughter. Of course he had bought her “The Selection”, what else would he do? “I hate you!” She laughed, grinning widely and setting the book on her bookshelf. “Oh come on America! Wait, WAIT!” Griffin laughed as April pretended to reach for the pottery vase on her nightstand. She opened the card, still laughing as she read the words he had written. His handwriting was still scratchy, still messy, still annoyingly perfect. My April, Happy birthday! I know it’s not much, but I figured that since your birthday was on a Saturday, it would be nice to surprise you. I hope I made your day brighter, love. As he started to eat, April couldn’t help but trace her fingers over the word. Love. Love. Love. He called her love. February 14th, 2015 Valentines. The day of love. The day April avoided like the plague.

Everyone thought Griffin was her Valentine. Everyone thought that since he switched from band class to art class just so they would have every single class together. Everyone thought they were dating and if you didn’t, it was because you were crushing on one of them. It was like a cycle of hell. April stared down at her Doc Martins as she waited for Griffin in the cafeteria. The black boots were nice, simple. Griffin had bought them for her as a Christmas gift, he remembered seeing her stare at them in the mall and couldn’t resist buying her a pair. That’s what she liked about Griffin, the way he remembered things. She pulled a small, heart shaped canvas out of her pocket and traced over the texture of the paint. It felt nice, comforting. The painting was a heart shaped canvas, but the painting was a realistic human heart. April knew that he would love it, he loved all that sappy poetic stuff. She got him a little canvas, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a small card that just says happy Valentine’s Day. “Hey lovely.” Griffin sat next to her and grinned. At the same time, they both tried to hand the other the gifts. April held out her hands full of the candy, card, and canvas as he held out a small bouquet of roses. “Goddammit!” April groaned as Griffin and her burst into laughter. “Why are we such good human beings?” “Oh shut up!” She pretended to shove him as they traded gifts. The roses are perfect, a deep red color. They match the color of April and Griffin’s sweaters, they wanted to match for Valentines. April suddenly jumped up at the feeling of someone’s lips on her cheek as she spun around, seeing Griffin smile cheekily. “You know me, I love to give a show.” She blushed as he wrapped an arm around her, sighing. “You make me question why I didn’t just start walking home that night at the dance.” “Oh shut up, we were in eighth grade.” “And now we’re freshmen, how romantic.” April rolled her eyes as his smile grew even wider. The way his eyes looked at her filled her with a sense of joy, of feeling loved. He looks at her like she’s the only girl in the world, like he’s trying to memorize her face. She looked back, her lips curving into a smile as he looked down, his hair messy and falling in front of his eyes like strands of spaghetti. “You have seven piercings? At 14?” Griffin raised an eyebrow as she nodded. “Triple lobes plus a helix on my left ear.” April brushes strands of hair behind her ear as she adjusts her bun. “You’re wonderful. Absolutely badass. Like Katniss Everdeen.” April rolled her eyes and hit him with her notebook as he laughed, “Like a badass female warrior!” The two laughed as they got up, the bell ringing. April couldn’t help but smile at the way his hand reached out to hold hers as they stepped into English.

July 27th, 2015 April has learnt that Griffin Jacobs is the kind of guy who will appear on your porch with slushies and the desire to learn pottery at 5am. And Griffin has learnt April Robbins is the kind of person to break the law in order to drive him to her pottery studio. The roads are emptier, little to nobody is driving at this hour. It still puts Griffin on edge at the fact April is driving without a fear in the world, but it’s oddly sexy to him. You can’t really have a female badass warrior who’s a sophomore in high school, but a girl whose passion is redder than her hair? It’s a gift from god. The pottery studio is twenty minutes from her house. Griffin learns a lot from that drive. He learns that April loves The Fray, but only specific albums. But all Hozier and Lumineers songs are magic to her and classical music is scattered throughout. He also learnt that April is a lovely singer. Hearing her harmonize with Hozier and make up random lyrics to a classical song made his heart soar. When she reached the studio and parked, he couldn’t pull his eyes away. She was just so perfect, so beautiful. Griffin used to wonder what April did in a past life for some God to give her this beauty, this power over him. She parked the car outside of a dim building. It was small and secluded at the edge of a neighborhood, painted a hazy blue color. It almost looked like the color of Griffin’s eyes, the dim but crystal colored blue that captured everyone’s eyes. The minutes go by like a blur with April, it’s like he went from sitting in her car and singing to The Fray to suddenly splattering clay on the ceiling in a second. “Griffin!” She yelled as he laughed, smearing clay on her cheek. “C’mon, you know you love me.” Griffin grinned, leaning closer towards her. His heart soared as he saw the familiar pink color on her cheeks. At this moment, Griffin realized how far apart their lips were. He could see the rushed, slightly smeared lines of a tinted lip balm on the edge of her bottom lip. Her lips were parted slightly as he looked up at her eyes. The hazel color was dimmer as she shut her eyes, pressing her lips together. He felt his heart sink as she pulled away, her cheeks still pink. Her freckles were the only color on her face that remained the same, her cheeks were flushed. Griffin knew he had to be blushing, that the way he looked at her must have been full of desire. But she had pulled away and grabbed another hunk of clay and passed it to him. And he smiled as he took it.

November 26th, 2015 Everything hurt. April’s knees hurt, her heart hurt, her head hurt. Blood dripped from her arm as she knocked on the door of the apartment. “April?” Coco said as she opened the door, “What are you- are you bleeding?” April nodded, “Is he-” “April.” Coco stepped away from the door, revealing a distressed Griffin behind her. She stepped into another room as he pulled April inside and shut the door behind her. April was silent, staring blankly as she sat on the couch. Griffin wrapped her in a blanket and took her backpack, setting it in his room. She was silent as he started to wrap the gauze around her wrist, her arm. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked as she shook her head. “Do you have the keys to Callie’s?” She asked silently as she looked up at him. He nodded. Within ten minutes, the pair were walking down the road and towards the small animal shelter. Griffin was clutching her hand, her free hand holding the keys. They both loved the animals and he knew April was calm around the dogs. April never told Griffin about the cuts on her arm. They never talked about it. He just silently wrapped her arm in gauze and took her to Callie’s shelter. Today was different. Today was Thanksgiving, a day Griffin should have spent with his aunt and cousins, a day April should have spent with her grandmother, aunt, and parents. But the alcohol had gotten to her parents and she ran as the screaming started. Within the two minutes it took for Griffin to pull her inside of the animal shelter from the freezing streets, she managed to instantly find Rocky. Rocky, the puppy she and Griffin were in charge of. Griffin loved him the most, he even wanted to adopt him. She sat on the floor, criss crossed as she held the energized puppy in her arms. Griffin sat next to her, stroking her hair while she cuddled and played with the puppy. April let herself shake and cry as he pulled her closer to him and held her tightly. Rocky eventually curled up next to them, almost as if he understood something was wrong. The three of them slowly fell asleep together, in a pile, like a family. March 19th, 2016 April was tired of waiting. She was sick and tired of waiting for Griffin to make a move, waiting to see if today is the day

he’ll ask her out or finally kiss her. She was tired of moments where she looked into his eyes as he sculpted with her, the way his lips almost touched hers when he showed her how to angle a paint brush. She was tired of these games, these “what if” moments. April Robbins was going to make a move on Griffin Jacobs. It started out as a normal Thursday night. April finished her weekly crocheting with her grandmother and aunt and, like always, pulled out her phone and texted Griffin. She watched as the three bubbles typed “Omw <3” and almost threw her phone at the sight of that stupid, annoying heart. She sat on her bed, watching the door to her room. She gave Griffin a key to her house a year ago, she knew he could get in. She just had to be patient. As the door opened, April sat up. Griffin sat next to her and grinned, handing her a slushie and a bag of gummy bears. He had a blue slushie, she had a red one. He had sour candy, she had gummies. Like always. “I really want a purple lip gloss.” She blurted as Griffin stopped sipping on his slushie to look at her, “Can I show you the one I want?” “I never thought you would want lip gloss,” He laughed as she rolled her eyes, “But sure. Show me.” April hesitated before looking at him, his annoyingly perfect face. Then, she kissed him. Griffin didn’t hesitate to kiss her back until she pulled away, blushing. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, but it was only a few seconds at most. April wanted to apologize, to scream, to do something. But as she opened her mouth to speak, Griffin interrupted her. “Uh, Coco said- Shoot, April, Lavender and Stevie-” Was all he said before he bolted out of her room. April stared at the door wordlessly. She touched her lips, closing her eyes. He had forgotten his slushie and his candy, he never forgot his snacks. He loved his snacks. He always shared them with Coco, why did he forget them? That's when April Robbins realized she had just been rejected. That’s also when April Robbins burst into tears. May 27th, 2016 “What happened to April? Is she doing okay?” Coco smiled as Griffin sighed. Two months ago, April had kissed him in her room. And he bolted out of the room and ghosted her for two months. It broke his heart to see her eat lunch alone, to see her read a book with headphones in as she silently picked around her food. But he had no idea what to do, how to talk to her.

He liked the kiss, of course he did. But did she regret it? Did she wish that she had just shown him some stupid lipstick instead of kissing him? What was April thinking? “I ghosted her. Because she kissed me.” Griffin blurted the words as Coco’s jaw dropped. “You what?!” She didn’t seem surprised, mostly frustrated, “The girl you’ve been head over heels for since eighth grade kissed you and you ghosted her?!” They went back and forth for a while before Coco mentioned his sketchbook. Griffin hadn’t even remembered he had ever had a sketchbook when she mentioned that. But without hesitation, he bolted up the stairs and pulled out the small, black book of drawings. They weren’t just drawings. They were her, they were all of April. Paintings, watercolors, sketches, drawings, everything. It was all April. If someone else was in the scene, he never gave them a face. Just a shadow. April was the only one worthy of a face, the only one pretty enough to deserve it. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the door to the Robbins family home. An older woman answered, smiling as she called out for April. Griffin’s hands shook as the old woman disappeared and was replaced with his favorite girl in the world. And as a sky full of stars illuminated the pair, Griffin Jacobs handed April Robbins his sketchbook. And as she opened to the first page, he couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. And she couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with him.