Why should I?

Ava Lybunisky

Giggles fill the room when I’m with my friends. All of us are dying of laughter, looking at Lily rolling around the floor like a dog. These are the type of friends that make your stomach hurt every time you hang out with them because you've done so much laughing.

“What's that noise?” Anna says, breaking all the laughter. It seems to be coming from the top of Lily's bed. I jump up and search. I find my phone buzzing under a blanket. As I pick it up, I see a photo of my mom, and three text messages from Lexi. The buzzing vibrates my hand, but I don’t move. I know exactly why my mom is calling. She was gonna ask. Actually, no, she wasn't gonna ask. She was going to tell me that she was picking me up from my friends so Lexi could have some company.

Lexi is my cousin. Her mom died last year, and ever since then, I've had to give up everything for her. She doesn't even appreciate what I do for her, and I'm sick of doing so much without getting anything in return. At this point, I feel like a sponge. I'm filled with water and soap, then I get squeezed and squeezed until I’m all dried out.

“Hi, mom,” I say, finally answering. My head is buried so deep in Anna’s pillows that you can barely hear me.

“Hi, sweetie. I’ll be at Anna’s house in five minutes,” she says.

Mom knows how annoyed I get with all this, but she feels guilty. I mean, my mom seems to think she should take a mom role in Lexi's life. Because of this, she makes me do everything for Lexi. Everything.

***

The drive back home is quiet. I roll my eyes and pout. My mom looks guilty as she tries to face me while she's driving.

“Look, I know you were having fun with your friends, but Lexi had nothing to do today,” my mom says, squishing my cheeks, trying to make me smile.

I know Lexi had nothing to do today. She never does. But that doesn't mean I have to make room for her in my OWN life when she’s so ungrateful. She always comes to my house, so I have to treat her like any other guest. I have to do what she wants to do, even if it's just staring at the ground as she's on her phone. This is every time I hang out with her. You’d think that after all the sacrifices I've had to make - like giving up on time with my friends - she’d ask me what I would like to do. But she doesn't.

“She isn’t very nice to me,” I complain to mom, looking down at my feet.

My mom's smile fades.

As we pull up to my house, all I think about is what I have to do to keep Lexi happy. Maybe

watch a movie? Paint her nails? I know she would never think to do that for me.

My mom makes her way toward the kitchen. I don't see Lexi. As I peek through into the living

room, I see her on the couch, looking at her phone - like always.

“What's up!” I say, forcing a smile.

“Uh, hey,” she answers, almost as if this was her house, and I was the one barging in here.

Already I knew this wasn't going to be fun.

“You wanna watch Mamma Mia?” I say, trying to sound enthused. I knew Mamma Mia was her favorite movie.

“Uh, sure,” she says, looking down at her phone.

I grab the remote and stand up to get close to the TV. I go through what seems like every app on the TV to find Mamma Mia. I look back at Lexi. She’s not moving. Except for her fingers scrolling on her phone, TikTok videos projecting on her eyes.

I make my way to the couch and she lets out a big sigh, putting her phone down for a minute. “Why are we even watching this?” she says, looking at me like I'm some two-year-old.

“I thought it was your favorite movie,” I say, my blood starting to boil up inside me. She stares at me for a couple of seconds, then picks up her phone again.

THAT'S IT.

I slam the remote down on the couch.

“Fine. What do you want to do then? Because I'm not just sitting here,” I say, crossing my

arms.

I was expecting a reaction, but she didn't do anything. She just laughed and looked at her

phone again. I turn my back to her and look the other way. I see my mom peeking through to us from the kitchen. She looks disappointed, all emotion leaving her face.

Why couldn't anyone see it? I'd been doing everything I possibly could to make Lexi happy. My eyes start filling up with angry tears. The rest of the night, we sit in silence. She just sits there, nothing but the sound of clicking coming from her phone.

***

“Oh, and Sofia. I think that's all my friends,” I say, listing everyone I want to invite to my birthday party.

My mom jots all the names down, counting them off on her fingers. Then, she goes back to her phone and types something else. That was it, she got all the names. What else could she be typing?

“Lexi’s coming too,” she says quickly, making eye contact with me. I feel everything toughen up inside of me, grabbing the couch pillows so tightly I can feel my body through them.

No.

Nope.

Absolutely not.

This was my day, and I wasn't going to spend it doing something for somebody else.

“Mom this isn't fair! I've already tried a million times introducing my friends to Lexi. Every time I do, she doesn't like them,” I say, holding back tears.

“How do you know that? Does she say that she doesn't like your friends?” my mom raises her eyebrows. I know my mom knows the answer to this.

“No but-”

“I'm just so disappointed in you. She's your cousin. She's been through so much. The least you can do is invite her to your party, ” my mom says, slamming her foot on the ground.

It's not just me holding back tears now. As my mom walks away, I can see her hands covering her face and hear her sniffles. I realize what I've done. I didn't want to suck it up and have Lexi come, but I also didn't want to upset my mom. It wasn't like I was left with much of a choice.

***

Balloons in my favorite colors. Presents wrapped with ribbons on the table waiting for me to open. The perfect chocolate cake covered with icing and sprinkles with the number ten on it.

How I love my birthday.

This one feels a bit different though. Not just because I have to celebrate it with Lexi, but also because my mom is mad at me.

Still.

The kisses and hugs she gives me feel almost forced. Her eyes are all red and irritated like she's just been crying. I don't see my mom cry that often. But when I saw her cry about something I did, it hurts.

***

We’ve been playing hide-and-seek in my backyard. I am it. My hands get pricked as I search through the bush. I find a purple hair clip. I look to my right quickly, searching the surrounding area, but I have yet to find anyone. Then, as I look to my left, I see a pair of white high-top Converse beside a tree. Lexi is standing there, trying to be invisible, her eyes closed. I tap her.

“Ha! You found me,” she says, popping out from the tree.

“Yup,” I say. I roll my eyes as I turn in the other direction. Of course, Lexi just stands there awkwardly, right behind me. She pulls her sleeves down and over her hands even though it's not cold out. Her eyes wander off, surveying the backyard like she’s also looking for someone.

Why couldn't she just act normal around my friends?

“Girls, it's time for presents and cake!” my mom says from the balcony.

All of my friends start coming out of their hiding spots. Lexi leads the jumble of girls up the

stairs. All of us jump with excitement.

As I sit in the special birthday chair, everyone looks at me eagerly. I feel like a queen. I open all

of my friend's presents. With each present I open, the floor grows more cluttered with ribbons, glitter, and wrapping paper. Finally, there's one box left. It’s not even wrapped. I look at the brown tag.

From: Lex

I peel the tape that’s holding the top closed. Inside is a small, blue velvet jewelry box. I open it up and find a silver necklace with a heart locket.

“Open it,” Lexi says, pointing to the heart. Inside is a picture from when we were younger.

Our moms are holding us and we are just a couple of months old. I look at my aunt in the photo. I hadn't seen her face in so long. My hand covers my chest. My heart hurts.

I turn to look at Lexi. We both laugh with tears in our eyes. Then, she points to the box again. I see a card, and as I reach for it, I notice that it's not a birthday card. It's a thank you card.

Dear Julia,

The last two years have been a difficult time for me, and you helped me through it so much. All the times I needed some one you would be there. I realize sometimes I don’t say it eno ugh, but thank you. For everything.

I hope you enjoy your special day, because you deserve all of it!

Love you lots, Lex

I snap back to reality, looking at Lexi. Both of us have real smiles on our faces. Not the forced kind. I run up and hug her, our hug lasting for a long time. I feel a wet drop on my shoulder. I look at her face to face.

“No, thank you,” I say, giggling as I wipe tears off her face.

***

All my friends have left now. I walk up to the kitchen, wearing my brand-new necklace. I see my mom cleaning up from the party.

“How did you like the party? Was it everything you wanted? Did Lexi bother you like you said she would?” My mom says sarcastically.

“No mom, everything was perfect. Thank you.”

My mom suddenly stops what she is doing. She drops everything and comes rushing over to me. She has a smile on her face. A smile that I haven't seen in a while. A smile that erases the picture of her crying.

“Julia, trust me. I know it's hard to always be there for Lexi, but she's your family. While you may think she’ll be with you forever, you never know what could happen.”

I know my mom is hinting about her sister.

“I pulled you away from your friends last Tuesday because your uncle called to say Lexi was having a tough day,” my mom says, her chin on my head. “I know a little about how those days hurt. When all you want is someone to sit with you and your pain.”

I gasp. Sometimes, I don't remember it enough, but my mom lost her sister too. Her only sister. I couldn't imagine losing my mom and having to go through what Lexi did. I had been selfish.

“Mom, I promise I’ll help out more, And I don't have a problem with Lexi anymore. I promise I'll be there for her anytime she needs someone.”

My mom hugs me tightly. I feel for Lexi and my mom's pain. As we hug, I can almost feel my aunt’s presence in this moment.

I’m a lucky girl. I realize that now.